Overall, this is an excellent start to a compelling essay. Keep in mind that although the committee allows you to write up to five pages, three double-spaced pages is usually adequate. Feel free to add more detail, but make sure your text is concise and transparent. You might consider "writing" ideas and then "rewriting" them. Too often, authors put ideas onto the page, but do not render those ideas compellingly. Giving your sentences a bit of extra effort, and giving your experiences a bit of extra reflection, will result in a persuasive essay that compliments your accomplishments and character.
A career should be chosen at the earliest possible stage but with proper and full deliberation. The help and guidance of teachers, parents, experienced people and professionals should be sought in the matter. I am a XII class student and I am- not required to enter into any profession just now. And yet I have decided about my career and profession. I have thought long and well over the matter with the help and guidance of my parents, teachers, physical training instructor and others well qualified to advise me. I have decided to become a soldier in our army.
Taking the time to think about what you value, what you are interested in and what you are good at doing will allow you to identify the best kinds of job roles and environments -- and make the application process so much easier. You will find this self-knowledge helpful for both informational and regular interviewing, and you can continue to adjust your reflections over the course of your career. Once you evaluate and understand your skills and strengths, and throw in some thinking about your personal and work values , you are better equipped to determine which career paths will be the best fit for you and where you will find the greatest success.