Bad puns aside, alien abduction stories aren't a particularly recent phenomenon. They're not even a 20th-century phenomenon, with one of the first documented sightings of aliens happening in Lodi, California, in 1896. According to Civil War veteran, and journalist, Colonel . Shaw, he and a buddy happened across some extraterrestrials who, as recounted by the Lodi News-Sentinel , "were 7 feet tall and very slender with small hands, fingers without nails, and feet twice as long as normal and functioned similar to a monkey's feet." In the words of Shaw: "I have a theory … those we beheld were inhabitants of Mars, who have been sent to the earth for the purpose of securing one of its inhabitants." Well … we hope it was only a theory.
The thing is, as if that weren’t bad enough, there seems to be no respect for–or even memory of–what European settlers and later white Americans did to Native Americans. In almost every facet of modern American life, Native history is trampled and disrespected: from that murdering criminal prick Andrew Jackson’s presence on the $20 bill and the grinning, caricatured logo of the Washington Redskins–how is that still an acceptable team name in the 21st century? Imagine a team called the Alabama Darkies–to that 5,700-foot “fuck you” to the Lakota known as Mount Rushmore. It’s enough to make you want to puke into your soup.